Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Reflecting on 2014
It has been awhile since I have posted anything, and I am sorry for that, but unfortunately my time has been in high demand. I guess it is a good thing because I have gotten more hours working from home with Lifebushido, and I get to stay home with my 2 very active boys who keep me on my toes!
With it being New Year's Eve I decided to reflect on this past year and list some things that I have learned. I feel like I have changed a lot as a person and have taken on challenges and hurts that I never thought I would.
The first and most important thing that I realized this year is that everything does not work as planned. I have never ever thought of homeschooling. I have never been interested in it, and I always thought that when it was time to take them to school, off they would go. All of that changed when it came time to put Z in school! I was literally filling out the paperwork for enrollment, had already taken him for his physical, and I just couldn't do it. My husband works crazy hours, and honestly public school scares me. We made the split decision to try it out for Kindergarten and see how it goes. So far it has been great! He gets to see Daddy every day in the mornings until about noon, and we found an awesome small co-op group that has been great to be a part of. The kids all get along and are around the same ages, and I am currently looking into a PE class and other co-op opportunities. Hubby and I have decided that if Z passes his tests at the end of the year, we will probably homeschool again next year.
The next thing I learned is that some things just don't last forever, and it is OK to walk away. I have had a very difficult family situation that has been really going on my whole life. It took me having kids of my own to really understand the depth of things and that nothing will ever change. In order for me to protect myself and my kids, I had to make a difficult decision. People that I thought were a very large and special part of my life decided that they would remove me from their lives. It is unfortunate that this happened, but I have a lot of people in my life who would never ever even consider cutting me and my kids out of their lives without even telling me why. As sad, and as hard as it has been for me, it is what is best for me and my family and I cannot imagine them doing this when my kids are old enough to understand. Sometimes letting go is the best thing, even if it is the hardest.
One more thing I learned was that I don't need to keep everything! I tend to keep knick knacks and toys, and crafts, and pretty much anything that I might one day need! A good friend informed me that I do not need to keep everything and that it will make me crazy if I do. She was totally right. I have been clearing out and cleaning up and it feels great to have less clutter everywhere. It is not perfect, but my house is actually getting organized!
Something that I already knew, but became really aware of recently is my disorganization and lack of time management. I am terrible with figuring out how to manage my time and most of my time I spend looking for stuff because I am so disorganized. It is terrible! I am really working towards being better with time management. So far I have set up 'work hours' that will be the times I spend in the office at home working. I have set up a google calendar to try to keep my work, and Z's school stuff organized and actually written down.
And last but not least, I have found out that asking for help is a good thing. I have been in therapy since my family issues started, and it has been so helpful. My therapist is great and gives me tips on how to deal with the situation. She also helps me understand why the kids act how they do sometimes, and how to handle those situations. It has been a great help in keeping my cool, and getting the boys to listen without having to yell.
All in all, I think I have grown a lot this past year. I also think I have learned a lot about myself and am focused on making myself the best I can be and letting go of things I cannot change, even if it's hard.
What have you learned in 2014?