1. Before kids: Why are there window locks in my car?
After kids: If these windows couldn't be locked, they would most definitely be broken from over use. Oh, and they have prevented many shoes and toys from flying out the window because the kids were bored on the 5 minute ride to the store!
2. Before kids: Why is that person just letting their kid scream and throw a fit in the store?!
After kids: Just ignore their fit and they will stop! It might take an hour and an annoying time at the store, but they will stop...one day! Getting groceries has to happen and sometimes kids just don't cooperate.
3. Before kids: I won't let my kids watch more than a half hour of TV a day and I will never put the TV on just to keep the kids from acting crazy.
After kids: I LOVE the TV! I love that there are educational shows that I can put on when the kids are acting crazy and I just need to make dinner without 2 kids running under my feet and clinging to me while whining and asking for things. Did I already say that I love TV?
4. Before kids: My kids won't talk back.
After kids: I don't know what exactly I thought I would do to prevent this, but I am pretty sure I did not grasp the complete determination of a 5 year old and his attitude! So how do I get him to stop talking back?
5. Before kids: I will never sneak food and hide treats from the kids. If I don't want them to have it I just won't eat it.
After kids: First I sneakily buy a candy bar at the store while they are looking the other way, smuggle it into my diaper bag, sneak it into the freezer way in the back, and then when they are happily pre-occupied I hide and eat it! Sometimes mommy needs a treat that she doesn't have to share with 2 kids!
6. Before kids: My kids will take care of the pets and learn young.
After kids: Ok kids, please DON'T feed the cat! No, no, no....only ONE scoop....Ok, I guess I am cleaning that up before we actually get to eat breakfast...
7. Before kids: My kids will like to sleep as much as I do!
After kids: No, it is not even light out yet, that makes it still night time so get back in bed!
What did you think before you had kids?